5 Ways to Cultivate Originality
Can I just say real quick that I was asleep 10 minutes ago, then this pang of inspiration hit me and jolted me awake - so here we are. (It's 9:45pm by the way and yes, I am 87 years old)
I've been feeling really edgy recently about the judgement we freely give out to others. Probably because our President tweets racist, misogynistic, sexist and idiotic broken sentences from his gosh-damned golden chair. Rant over.
It's so important to not allow fear and judgement to stop you from being you. An easy way to do this is to lead by example. What I mean is, don't stick your nose up at others for being different and try to appreciate others for their originality -- then in turn they'll perhaps appreciate yours.
Being truly original stems from a sense of self-confidence, which unfortunately is one of those qualities that's fragile and can be squashed. DON'T SQUASH IT. More importantly, don't let others squash it. If you are dating/working for/working with/friends with a person who is constantly remarking on or silencing your opinions... get the f*ck outta there. Period.
One of my personal goals is to be original in little or big ways - preferably big but ya know, shits hard sometimes. Be nice to each other and if you want to cultivate your own originality in this world, keep your eyeballs on the screen, yo.
Here are 5 ways for you to cultivate your originality
1. Be Brave
For the first time ever, I'm putting the most important step FIRST. Don't over look this and don't scoff at it. Your very first step my friends, is to tell fear to FUCK OFF.
There is no way you can be you or even figure out who that is if you let every no you come across stop you. Just keep on walking through that brick wall of haters. You will get through, and the more you give the haters the blank stare (or the bird), the easier it will get.
Bonus! The more you say yeah thanks for your opinion but Imma do me anyway, the closer and closer you get to cultivating not only originality, but also to being the kind of person you want to be.
2. Decide Who and How you want to be
...and then don't let anyone change your mind.
I am a classic YES woman, but that's only because the person I want to be is someone who is open-minded and has and will have tried just about every experience the world has to offer before I go to heaven or the rings of Saturn or wherever.
Decide who you want to be, if that's someone who is kind to everyone but you get dirty looks on the bus every time you smile at someone, keep smiling, just direct it to someone else. Keep that mo'fckn smile on, because that's you. All those grumpers either haven't had their morning coffee yet, or they're reacting to their own shit, ego is a waste of time - assume it's not about you.
ASSUME. IT'S. NOT. ABOUT. YOU. Can't say it enough.
3. Surround yourself with Other Originals
This is so hard sometimes because people who already possess this keen originality are fucking terrifying. But! The most important part of being yourself is bravery right? SO. Interact with those scary people and learn from them. Maybe even interact with those whose opinions aren't necessarily akin to your own. You'll broaden your mind and you'll prove to the world that we can differ in opinion and still stand united. If you, like me, suffer from mad social anxiety, I've found a solution. Here it is: Just don't think about it. Just do it before your brain can go off. People are just people like you. If you repeat that to yourself when you meet Rihanna I'm convinced you'll be alright.
4. Understand your own Vulnerability
Being vulnerable has such a negative connotation to it. It is not negative, but it is risky. You have to understand your own vulnerability and more so, understand the risks you're taking by being vulnerable. No matter who you are, you are not made of steel. Even Beyonce is vulnerable, but she definitely understands where she lets her guard down and in what situations she's most vulnerable.
Example: You're passionate about writing yeah? Oh you should start a blog! When you have a passion and you put it on the line, you are HELLLA vulnerable. But I understood long ago that what I write is for whoever it helps. Even if that person is just one person far away, that's who it's for. And if someone doesn't like it, it's simply not for them. Being vulnerable and being sad or embarrassed don't have to go hand in hand if you understand vulnerability.
Be smart about the things that make you vulnerable and don't put yourself in a situation with someone who will take advantage. Surround yourself with people who build you up and will let you be you without cutting you down or even just stopping you from being yourself.
5. Rely on your own Praise
I do think that in general we all rely on praise way too much. Just look at our new Pres, he STILL reeling from the fact that he lost the popular vote. Get over it.
And because I love you all much more than him, I will say it a little more gently to you. Try to understand that everyone whether they know it or not, is looking out for themselves and likely reacting to their own business. So, do not get stuck in the trap of relying on the praise of others.
You know when you've done well! Always give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself how much you love you. Don't be a diva though, be nice to yourself and be nice to others.
That's all folks.
